A lesson from the GOAT

You will win some and lose some, we can’t win them all!

As long as we have life, we will have bigger and bigger battles to fight. You will win some and lose some, we can’t win them all, but the secret to success in life is – you must pick your battle carefully. That was the life lesson I got when I met the GOAT, The Greatest of All Times – Muhammed Ali, on a Monday morning in the summer of 1989. A Monday morning that would change my life forever.

I was about to step into the elevator at the Lincoln Building in Manhattan, New York, as I did every work day for the past fifteen years. Suddenly, the door began closing slowly when a giant hand reached out. The door sprung open. I looked up to thank the perfect stranger, only to realize that he was no stranger.

Standing majestically in front of the marquee was Ali. I stepped back; he said, “get in! what floor you’re going to?”  Like he was the elevator operator. Now, this is no table topic question, but tell me what you would have said or done. I froze, then whispered – I’ll take the fifty-second, please, sir – as I stepped into my neutral corner in the elevator – bewildered.  

At that moment, a little voice popped into my head, screaming don’t say anything stupid. Still, the motor in my mouth started running. I know you. Ali -No, you don’t. Then silence until my engine revved again. So, I see you are going to the thirty-sixth floor – The Banquet Hall? Ali Yep! – To retire again, Champ! It’s over – it’s over, Champ!

The GOAT did not like my comment. Like a caged lion, he growled, spun around, and came at me with his clenched fist, screaming – No! It’s over for you! Get them up! – I shall return! Luckily for me, the elevator bell tolled for his floor just then. It was only when Ali stumbled out of that elevator in stitches I realized that the world’s greatest prankster had just pranked me. Yes, he got me good. Like Elvis, I was all “shook up.”

We immediately realized that the thirty-sixth floor was in darkness, except for a dimly lit red sign – EXIT. And that was not the reception we both had expected, so I offered my services. Jokingly, I said Champ, I can stay and protect you. I know this building well. Oh! Ali replied, now you want to be my bodyguard. OK – And we began chatting, not like a prince and a pauper, but like two mere mortals. We spoke about some of his fights going back to the first I against Sonny Liston.

As we spoke, Ali kept looking at his watch. I told him my dad was his biggest fan. He asked who’s your dad. – Big George – I said. Ali growled – I hate that name, George. But I could tell he was uneasy about something. Ali then said, yes, today is the day. Looking at his watch again, he said, “I’ll finally be announcing my retirement to the world at seven am today.” And it was then I got my life lesson.

Soon after, his entourage arrived. And I was tickled when he introduced me as his newfound bodyguard. We all had a good laugh as his photographer Bingham, took pictures. What I remember most about that morning was Ali’s reflective mood. He finally realized that he had reached the end of fighting many battles inside and even outside the ring. Of all the pictures we took that day, I will always cherish the one when he gave me his secret to success. Again, the little voice in my head said -listen and lean. – this is not an accidental meeting. Ali is your messenger!

Ali didn’t know that I, too, was fighting a child custody battle within. I was at that building at six thirty that morning because I couldn’t sleep. I struggled for weeks with a major life-changing decision that I knew could even land me in prison. But, after that meeting with Ali that morning, I knew what I had to do. And one month later, I was driving to San Jose, leaving all my earthly positions behind to start life all over.  

Before that day, I had never driven further than New Jersey. Five days later, I arrived in San Jose shaken. It was the day after the Loma Perata earthquake. To this day, my grown kids still say – Dad, when California heard you were coming, the earth shook. My child custody battles were many. But I never lost the most important of them all, the custody of my children.  

My friends, if ever you are faced with a life-changing decision, remember this secret I got from the GOAT- As long as we have life, we will have bigger and bigger battles to fight. You will win some and lose some, we can’t win them all, but the secret to success in life is – you must pick your battle – carefully.“ It is a message that changed my life and could also change yours forever.

Your Speaker’s Blueprint

Every speech should have a Blueprint

Turning your great ideas into an unforgettable speech that inspires others begins with Your Speaker’s Blueprint. Every speech should have a Blueprint – Your plan that answers the following questions – What’s my purpose? How will that purpose impact my listeners? What will it make my audience think, feel or do?

For that reason, some coaches believe the most important minute of your speech is the minute of silence after you have spoken. If a speaker can inspire their audience to jump out of their seat to make a significant change in their life or the lives of others, they have made their case. They have achieved their purpose.

Once a speaker has answered those questions, they can start developing their blueprint by collecting their supporting material. Although the title is always your audience’s first introduction to your speech, it can wait. You can use a placeholder if you wish. Titles are a relatable premise of the speech. As your speech develops, the title often changes.

Focus more on committing your thoughts to paper. Write them all down. The memos of your flashes of creativity often come in handy later in the editing process. I call those jottings – “The Keepers and the Weepers.” Enjoy documenting them all, although you know some of the best lines won’t make the final cut. But where possible, share those creative ideas as were first experienced.

We all have unique ways of speaking in private and public. However, be mindful that it’s not what you say. It’s what your audience hears. Next, develop your Foundational Statement. It should be a tweetable and easily repeatable sentence. All speakers believe that their ideas are great. However, speakers must remember they are preparing a speech for their listeners’ gratification, not theirs.

Therefore, they should also ask themselves why this idea inspired them and why it should inspire others. Will their audience feel what they felt when this idea first popped into their head? And how they should structure their speech to touch all the emotions to which all humans respond.   

Your introduction should capture and engage the attention and imagination of your audience. It should keep your audience focused on your topic. As you write out your speech, deciding on the body parts you wish to engage is a good idea. Will it be the heart for empathy, the head to make your audience think, hands or feet to get your audience moving?

Whichever you choose is fine. However, your choice should always transition smoothly to the body of the speech. The body is where the speaker develops and expands their point, purpose, and proposition. If you don’t have a purpose, you don’t have a speech. Also, there should be a message in your purpose.

To make your message crystal clear, you can tell a story to make your point. Many coaches teach the secret to public speaking is you make a point, then tell a story –  or tell a story to make a point. You then repeat the process over and over.

From your opening to the conclusion, your point, purpose, proposition, and message should echo through the delivery of your speech. One world champion calls it your scarlet ribbon that runs through the body. Varying how you deliver your B1, B2, & B3 will keep your audience focused on your message as you build to your big takeaway. That takeaway is what some coaches call your Magic Moment. The moment that will turn an excellent speech into one that is immortal.

To avoid ambiguity, your structure should be a single introduction, moving to the body of the presentation. Then, to close, choose your final words carefully—end with a single conclusion, and make sure your last words linger in the minds of your audience. We all have our preferred speech-writing model. Call it whatever you wish. It is Your Speaker’s Blueprint. A popular model we are all familiar with is the “Tell Them Model,” – Where -you tell your audience what you’re going to tell them – You tell them – Then you tell them what you told them. Use that model to check your script for clarity.

From the moment a speaker steps onto the platform, pause and begin reading the audience. However, the closing is where you will seal the deal. Many deals are lost because the speaker didn’t realize their audience is sold. Your audience tells you silently if you made a good connection and you have made your case.

While it is difficult to receive feedback over Zoom, it is possible. Remember, a smile is just a frown turned upside down. If you can see your audience, focus briefly on the frowns; the decenters and move on. If your audience is not visible, use carefully placed pauses and rhetorical questions as check-ins during your delivery.  

Nothing is built without a solid plan or blueprint. Your blueprint does not have to be fancy. If your written plan serves as your guide to help you stay focused on your plot, it is your blueprint. If it increases the effectiveness of the connection with your audience, it is your blueprint. Create a blueprint for your next speech. Experience the joy of turning your next great idea into an unforgettable moment for you and your audience. And remember, all great speeches begin and end with – Your Speaker’s Blueprint.

My Leadership Style

Many are called, but few are chosen.

Leadership is not a game. It is a process – It is a calling. But as the good book says, many are called, but few are chosen. We all will be called upon to lead at some time. Most great leaders have a style that is unique to them. Their style is shaped by traits developed over time through various leadership experiences. Great leaders motivate and inspire others. They encourage those they lead to better themselves and the people around them.

Knowing your leadership style is essential as you continue your process of self-discovery. Today, when I think of my leadership style, Dynamic, I think about a time in my life when I was twenty-one. The year was 1970, and my homeland, Trinidad, was embroiled in a revolution. I was chosen to lead a squad because of my rank. Everyone in my squad was older than I was. That’s when I quickly realized the virtues of being a Dynamic leader. The mission at hand was to get everyone back to base alive. We worked together as a team and achieved our goals as a team. That was when my Dynamic leadership began to take shape.

As a Dynamic leader, my focus has always been to find better ways to direct, guide, motivate and influence the behaviors of others I lead. Achieving each individual’s goals and the organization’s purpose is essential. However, leadership does not mean you take ownership of the organization. You take ownership to ensure the success or failures of those you lead. Leadership demands that you maintain good interpersonal relations while staying true to your values. Your challenge is to motivate each team member to contribute and work together to achieve their goals and objectives.

Since that 1970 experience, I have used the Dynamic Leadership Model to implement changes when faced with difficult situations. It is a model that teaches us to change with the changes we encounter. It demands that your words and actions must be in sync. And while it is wonderful to be optimistic as a leader. It teaches us that leaders must also be realistic. And that sometimes a pessimist is just an optimist with information. Dynamic Leadership also requires you to show respect for time – your time and the time of others. It helps you understand your strengths and preferences that can help you adjust to the leadership styles of others.  

Here are four Leadership styles. Can you identify which best describes yours?

Autocratic: The leader has complete control of the team. The team cannot present their view in the decision-making process. Everything comes from above!

Democratic: One that offers everyone a fair hearing while respecting and conforming to the organization’s basic rules.

Laissez-faire or Free-rein: Translated from French, meaning ‘to let it do.’ This style results in a hands-off approach to leadership.

Bureaucratic: A leadership style in which a Governing Body establishes the management and decision-making norms of the organization.  

We all have deferred to one of those leadership styles as parents or members of an organization to which we belong. But can you identify which styles you most commonly default to when pressured or faced with your moments of truth? Does that style offer ways of working and communicating within the organization? Does it state who does and is responsible for what? And how is that information shared? The Dynamic Leadership Model allows members to understand, communicate and express that information clearly.

Over my years as a leader, I have found that the organizational structure is often a reflection of the personality traits of the membership. And when all are invested in the organization’s structure and policies, the result is success. However, when those policies are adjusted to fit the whims and fancies of individual members, it’s only a matter of time before the culture and essence of that organization are lost. And most likely, it will stay lost forever.

When we join an organization, we can move in one of three directions. We can remain where we were on the first day we joined. Some may regress, while others will improve as communicators and someday become high achievers and leaders. The choice is ours. The foundation of our Leadership style is based on knowing yourself, your beliefs, and your core values. There are many challenges one will face as a leader. However, it is those moments of truth that will always reveal who we truly are as a leader and why we were called upon or chosen to leadership.

Love & Marriage

Love & Marriage -D101 2017 Winning Humor Contest Speech

Love and Marriage! – According to that old song, they go together like horse and carriage. However, my Papa says, sometimes you’ll feel like the horse, sometimes the carriage. But you’ll be well on your way to a happy marriage – If you or your partner don’t ever behave – like that part of the horse that faces the carriage. Fellow Horses and Carriages!

Now, I don’t mean to pry but tell me, in your relationship or marriage, who is the horse and who – is the carriage? If your horse or carriage is sitting next to you right now, trust me; this is not the time to ask any questions. Yes! It takes more than five to seven minutes to figure this one out. But what is your secret -secret to a happy marriage? Can you have one without the other? And what do you do when your horse starts bucking and is pulling away from the carriage?  Well, these are some of the questions I hope we can answer as we take another look at love! And the institution of marriage.

Married life used to be so simple. First, you fall in love. Then you get married. And you live happily ever after. Right!  Wrong! In some cultures, first, you get married, then you have the rest of your life to fall in love. But ever since the beginning of time, there has always been this debate over which should come first. Love, then marriage? Or marriage, and then Love – Who knew, do you?

Then tell me, how do you know when you are in love?  Yes, that was a question, but now is not a good time to turn to your partner for answers. That would be stepping in it – what the horse always leaves behind. But how do you know? I believe you are still in love when you can remember some of these magical moments, the first kiss. The first time you looked into your partner’s eyes, didn’t know a word of Italian but saw Amora. And when you can remember those early morning breakfasts in bed with a smile?  You are still in love.

Now I don’t profess to be an expert on this subject of Love and Marriage. Yes!  I am married – again. But back in the day, when I thought of marriage, I saw myself waving that white flag of the Olympic Games. The five rings on that flag always reminded me that there are sometimes five rings in many marriages. First the engagement ring, next the wedding ring, then comes the suffer ring, boring and even the boxing ring. 

However, I take full responsibility for all of my rings, as my X father-in-law forewarned me. I wrote him a five-page letter asking for his daughter’s hand in marriage. His response came back, one word. No! I thought the man liked me. Then he invited me to meet the entire family at this posh restaurant to tell me no! You cannot have just my daughter’s hand in marriage. You will take her hands, feet, and all the spare parts that come with her. Then he said (SON) there is no warranty with my baby. She’s all yours. I should have seen it coming. No, I wasn’t blind. I was in love.

It wasn’t my fault. You see, there is no University you can attend to get a degree in love or marriage. But again, who needs one? When a man gets married, he loses his bachelor’s. And the woman! She earns her master’s with honors. Once you lift her over that threshold, I guarantee you that’s not the last time she’ll be putting her foot down in her house. Statistics show that in the first few years of marriage, the man speaks, and the woman listens. Soon the woman speaks, and the man listens. Then before long, everybody speak and speak, and only the neighbors listen.

My friends, you don’t need a bachelor’s or master’s to enjoy a successful marriage. We must realize that the two people are different in any relationship. You could be the best magician; you will not change each other. So, what’s the secret to a happy marriage? Respect! Respect each other’s differences. And when you are the horse – be a stallion. When you are the carriage, enjoy the ride. You can’t separate love from marriage. That’s an illusion that will always take you back to one conclusion, that love and marriage do go together like horse and carriage. And you will find your secret to a happy marriage once you or your partner don’t ever start behaving like that part of the horse – that faces the carriage.  


Is there a formula for a Winning Humorous Speech ?- Whenever I am asked that question, my answer is always the same 20 Laughs, 5 Chuckles, and One Belly Full of Laughter – delivered in 7 minutes.

Your Voice – Your Instrument

If you want people to listen to you, you must be prepared to listen to yourself.

Your voice is your instrument. You carry it with you every day of your life. However, do you know the sound of your voice? Can listeners clearly understand what you are saying when you speak? Every instrument has a distinctive sound.  We all know what a trumpet, sax, or tuba sounds like.  If you were to hear a snippet from you and seven of your close friends, would you be able to identify which voice was yours? We all have accents and different ways of pronouncing certain words. We recognize and even admire the sound of our favorite speakers and singers. Over time, we become familiar with their pitch, range, and tamber.   

Every instrument has to be tuned, and so too is your voice. To produce a clear sound, you have to work on improving your “Buzz,” which makes your tone. To create that “Buzz,” you must work on breathing. All speakers understand the importance of inhaling air when speaking and the control required in its emission.  We all depart from our natural breathing as infants with age and personal development. Many of us use almost exclusively the upper portion of our lung capacity when speaking. To develop proper resonance, flexibility, and a beautiful tone, we must focus on correcting how we breathe while avoiding the condition we call shallow breathing.  Many articulation exercises are available in books and on the internet to address this problem.

Before you can even begin to improve your speaking voice, you must first find it. You should know how you sound.  Your voice tone in everyday communication is an excellent place to start. Observe the pitch you typically default to if you were to start humming. Observe the natural ease and comfort you feel. Take note of how you felt when you tried humming at a lower or higher pitch. William Shakespeare had this to say about finding your beautiful tone when speaking:

“Two factors are necessary; first, the breath must be under perfect control; and second, the vocal organs must be trained to act with unconscious ease – without correct breath control, and without freedom of the vocal muscles, a beautiful clear tone of voice cannot be attained.”

Once you have found your speaking voice, your next step is improvement and maintenance with exercises to strengthen your facial muscles – your jaw, throat, tongue, and lips. These are all critical muscles of your “Mask Cavity” that speakers must develop with vocal exercises. One I highly recommend is “Mouth exercise for Clear Speech,” available here: Articulation Exercises. Here you will find exercises that cover many letters and sounds of the alphabet.  Some speakers may need more help from a speaking coach to produce a clear tone. However, this is an excellent place to start.

Speakers should also be aware of times when their tone and pitch change while delivering presentations.  It is natural for a speaker’s voice to change if they are nervous, excited, or are being assertive. Understanding those changes in your communication style and using them effectively can turn what may be, to some, a liability into an asset when presenting. Starting with your natural Hum or Buzz and changing registers is an excellent exercise for beginners. This exercise helps speakers move seamlessly between registers.  With soft lips lightly touching, hum a few of your favorite tunes. Recite or read and record a few short sentences. Listen to your recordings.

As any coach will say, if you want people to listen to you, you must be prepared to listen to yourself.

Practicing correctly is critical. As you practice, pay attention to details. When you do, you will achieve the best results. Maintain good posture and proper inhalations.  Practice humming and buzzing with ease as you exercise your vocal muscles. Make sure your lips are soft, barely touching. They should also be loose at the corners. The tongue should lie easily and loosely, with the tip of your tongue lightly touching your lower front teeth. Ensure your throat is free as if you are about to begin yawning. Also, remember that exercises are useless when performed incorrectly. Start slowly and increase your speed as you become more proficient. Exercises performed once correctly are far more valuable than an exercise repeatedly done poorly. Begin your humming and buzzing with simple songs. As you improve, step it up to include classical pieces and choruses as your breath control and resonance improve. Keep practicing, and over time you will find what is unique and natural to us all – Your distinctive, beautiful sound – Your voice – Your instrument.  

Acting & Public Speaking Same Difference?

Tell a story to make a point

What’s the difference between Acting and Public Speaking? Actors perform –  Speakers speak to be heard, understood, and repeated. They are different disciplines, but they have a lot in common. They both strive to achieve the same goals – communicating with their audience. However, some may ask, if 90 percent of all communication is nonverbal, shouldn’t public speakers include some acting when they are presenting?  And who determines if a speaker is acting or public speaking? Unfortunately for many speakers, when they don’t address those questions with their coaches and evaluators, audiences will walk away with the answers to those critical questions, and the speaker will be none the wiser. Actors perform, and public speakers use language to make their connection.

Speakers speak to inform, persuade, entertain and inspire. Storytelling is a critical skill all speakers use to achieve those goals. However, a fine line divides both lanes. Some speakers drift in and out of the acting lane with success. However, they must be reminded that speakers speak and actors perform. Acting is unnecessary when speakers use different figures of speech to tell stories. Dr. Randy Harvey, the 2004 World Champion of Public Speaking, uses the acronym SCREAM as a reminder to include Similes, Contrast, Rhyme, Echo, Alliteration, and Metaphors when storytelling. Speakers should also have a basic understanding of what is acting and what is public speaking.

Storytelling is the act of telling stories. They are narratives with a beginning, middle, and end. Webster defines acting as the act of presenting a character on stage or camera. The definition of Public Speaking is the act or process of making speeches in public. They all have a common purpose – the art of effectively communicating with an audience. And although the word act is present in all three instances, how the actor or speaker chooses to perform those acts makes all the difference.  Adding gestures, vocal variety, and eye contact when delivering a speech is not acting. All speakers must develop those essential skills to enhance their ability to connect with audiences. Your body speaks even louder than what you are saying; however, your words and actions must be in sync. You may very well be in the wrong lane when they are not.

A public speaker’s primary objective is maintaining contact with their audience throughout their delivery. Conversely, actors create an imaginary wall on stage between themselves and their audience as part of their act. In theatre, it is referred to as the fourth wall. Actors create an imaginary invisible wall to separate themselves from the audience. The audience fully views the actors communicating with each other on stage as if they are in private, which is quite the opposite of what public speakers strive to achieve.  I can remember observing Derek Walcott back in the 1970s while working on two of his plays – the Joker of Seville and O’Babylon. He would spend hours directing seasoned actors to break down that fourth wall when he wanted them to make a connection with the audience. Yes, actors do change lanes also.  

All speakers realize that maintaining a connection with audiences depends on their approach to Public Speaking. When speaking one-to-one in conversations, we all talk naturally. Speakers who take that same approach to the speaking platform communicate more effectively with audiences. When a speaker can build trust by speaking naturally from the heart, audiences will listen, regardless of size.  However, speakers must give their audience something to remember. Speakers must silence the questions that creep into the minds of their audience during a presentation. When an audience is watching and listening to a speaker, they are processing what they heard and interpreting what they saw and felt. When they like what they hear, you are connected. When they don’t, you lose them.    

I will never forget one of my dad’s favorite sayings, and he had many: – son, there’s nothing new under the sun. Dear to be different. Always give your audience something old, something new, something borrowed, and wear something blue for good luck and to ward off evil spirits. As always, papa was right, so I made those words of wisdom my secret to connecting with audiences. But finding and developing your unique style that interests audiences is always challenging. I would later discover the key is how the speaker chooses to deliver their message. Good speakers deliver their message as if it were served in fine China, while others will offer that same message as if it were on a garbage cover. Delivery makes all the difference.  

David Brooks, the 1990 World Champion of Public Speaking, has often said in his coaching sessions that the secret to Public Speaking is simple when you break it all down.  You tell a story to make a point, or you make a point, then tell a story. It is that simple. Then you repeat that process over and over. Give your audience something to think, feel, talk about or take some action after hearing your presentation. Leave the acting to the actors. They are performers. Use the SCREAM method when presenting. And when you speak to be heard, understood, and repeated, there would be no question in the minds of your audience about if you were acting or public speaking long after you have departed the platform.  

The World Championship of Public Speaking – It’s a Process

You can’t sell what you don’t own.

Bay to Bay

Every speaker’s dream is to produce someday a speech that withstands the test of time. Having made it to the Regional Levels of the World Championships on three different occasions, I must admit that I have enjoyed the coaching I received over my twenty years of competing more than anything that contest has to offer.

Having been an original Edge Member and worked with various champion speakers who not only achieved their goal of producing great speeches but have also walked away with the title of World Champion, it’s difficult not to recognize that it takes a process to be a champion speaker.  If you were to ask any of those champs, what does it take to produce a world championship speech? They will quickly admit that their process contributed to yielding their winning speech. That heralded speech, in some cases, has even had its roots in a long-forgotten icebreaker revived and put through the rigors of the process. So what is this process?

That process begins with a speaker’s passion, thoughts, ideas, and real-life experiences with universal appeal. Sounds familiar? We all have many from which we can choose.  The heavy lifting to formulate that material to move it from your head to your heart and into every muscle of your body and the bodies of their audience is the challenge. Only with a process you can get the job done. However, there can be no shortcuts in your approach. As one Great Native American Chief warned many moons ago – “Short cut – draws long blood!”  

The process is simple. First, you must commit your speech to paper. What is written has to be carefully culled and edited. Your first draft then has to be polished.  What was polished has to be roughed up a little. Even then, you still have an unfinished product. The speaker must now test that draft in front of live or virtual audiences. And finally, that speech has to be owned by the speaker. Only when the speaker confidently says I own this speech, it is ready to be sold to an audience. And speakers should never forget that you can’t sell what you don’t own.

The first phase is always the hardest. It is natural to be constantly asking yourself how much is too much. One approach is to let your thoughts flow. Write them all down; the keepers and the weepers, but therein lies yet another process. There is a vast difference between writing and typing your first draft. Ed Tate, the 2000 World Champion, in one of his coaching sessions I attended many years ago, spoke about the different feeling when you transcribe your thoughts manually versus typing.

The process of writing your thoughts is a lot more intimate. Also, you can write down those thoughts anytime, anywhere as they come to you. When writing out your initial ideas, there should be no error correcting or editing. Let your joys, sorrows, and pain all flow like a river to the sea. Admittedly, many of us skip this critical step and begin typing. However, only after you have put pen to paper a few times will you appreciate the value of completing that first crucial step.

One of my all-time favorite TV shows still is – “Name that Tune.” I love it simply because it’s a game I play while going through my culling process. I often challenge myself to express my ideas or thoughts in fewer words than I had initially written. What is most important in this phase of the process is to decide what stays in and what stays out. Craig Valentine’s rule of thumb? When in doubt, leave it out.

For best results, do your culling and editing on a computer using Word or any software application. However, it is vital to write it as you usually speak. Using the fewest words to make your point often produces the best results. It also helps if you listen to the sound of what you wrote. Listening to yourself can be painful. Many of us don’t know or like how we sound. Record and listen as you do your editing until you no longer cringe and can smile as you listen to that recording.

Your nicely formatted – culled, and edited first draft is a good starting point. That draft must now be polished and prepared to be taken to market.  This is where you want to shift your focus from yourself and the results you seek – to what you would like your audience to think, feel or do during and after they have experienced your presentation. You are now going through the process of transferring energy from yourself to your audience. Remember, your audience is now your customer, and we know the customer is always right, even when they are not. 

You must figure out how you can reach into their heads, hearts, and every muscle of their body, just like you did and felt when you started your production. Find your nuggets to polish them, so they stand out when it’s time to deliver. As you continue to polish, you must find that gem that will make your presentation most memorable. David Brooks, the 1990 World Champion, calls it your Magic Moment – The moment should make your audience say, “Wow, or even repeat it backward woW!!!” And every speech should have a magic moment.

Before you can sell anything, you must own it. Customers can always tell if your product is one of a kind or one of a million. Your well-polished presentation may always leave a bit of doubt in the minds of your audience, as my mamma used to say when she was still with us, pretty face, dirty tricks. Son, all that glitters is not gold. The owning process is where the rubber meets the road. You should be able to start your speech or presentation from any word in your final script without hesitation. 

Next, you must remove some of your polish to make your presentation appear as natural as possible. Authenticity always makes a better connection with audiences.  As you practice internalizing what you have prepared, permit yourself to be the genuine you. But resist the temptation to stray from your finished product. Remember, sell only what you own. It is always safer to be in the moment with your body language, gestures, or even facial expression than unrehearsed phrases. Time is of the essence.

Evaluations – solicited and or unsolicited- are yet another process on its own. Speakers should take note of all feedback received – the good, bad, and even the ugly. In that feedback, they should observe patterns and repeated comments. Don’t be afraid to explore and test the merits of all feedback received with your coach. Any critical feedback should be tested in front of different live audiences on at least three separate occasions.

Word of caution, if you find yourself having to do a lot of explaining to your audience after presenting, that’s a red flag. You may want to revisit your culling and editing for clarity. It is a good idea to keep all of your rough drafts and the feedback received after your testing. Writing and delivering a speech that will live on forever takes hard work; however, if you follow a process that has been tried, tested, and proven by champions, you too will be recognized someday as a champion in your own rights, regardless of who walks away with the title of World Champion of Public Speaking.

What you Said & What we Heard

The tip of the tongue the teeth and the lips.

What you said and what we heard were quite different. All speakers receive similar feedback at some time, even when they are sure they said what they meant to say. While some may be quick to blame their style of speaking or even their accent. That feedback may be a clarion moment, advising that it’s time to work on your voice, diction, and vocabulary.

Have you received feedback about your diction in an evaluation recently? For some evaluators, addressing a speaker’s diction is like touching the third rail of public speaking. Well, today, let’s touch that third rail carefully.

On or off the platform, speakers must never forget that what matters most is what your audience heard, not what they said or intended to say. Your diction determines your style of enunciation when we are speaking. Diction exercises and drills can help us develop our stresses, rhythm, pronunciation, and intonation. When practiced regularly, they enhance our ability to deliver our presentations with precision and clarity. Messages heard and clearly understood by audiences are repeated. To be quoted by someone who heard you speak days, months or even years ago is rewarding and validating.

When communicating formally or informally, we stress our content words. Conversely, we unstress function words. Simply put, content words contribute to the meaning of the sentences in which they occur. They typically are verbs, nouns, adjectives, adverbs, some pronouns, numbers, questions, and quantities. When content words are stressed, they are more pronounced, they sound louder and sometimes are held longer in duration to command attention. And when speakers add a moment of silence to follow a sentence with content words, their message is sent. The silence that follows sends the message.

Function words are usually unstressed. They often don’t convey much meaning; however, they are essential to the grammatical structure of sentences. They include articles, prepositions, conjunctions, auxiliary verbs, and some pronouns. They are often pronounced quickly with a lower pitch than content words and are sometimes difficult to hear. They are usually softer, quieter, and are held much shorter in duration than content words. As a result, your function words can sometimes get lost in your communication.

Over time we become identified with our distinctive voice, intonation, and manner of speaking. Your vocabulary is essential when you are delivering your message. The words you choose can easily misrepresent the message you intended to convey. A better selection of words and proper diction can help us communicate more effectively with our audiences. Also, we tend to develop rhythmic patterns when we stress and unstress our words and syllables. We develop accents, especially when pronouncing two-syllable nouns. Ever notice that we stress the first syllable in almost every instance of the English language? And at the same time, many two-syllable verbs have second-syllable stresses.

Note that there is often a shift in stress when there is a noun-verb combination. For example – DEsert/ deSERT – ADDress/addRESS – PREsent/preSENT – The stressing and the un-stressing of content words and syllables create rhythm in our manner of speaking. Over time we develop a distinctive mode of pronunciation commonly used in the environment from which we originated. Where and how we place our syllables, stresses, and pitch often determine that which is called our accent. And believe it or not, we all have one; an accent.

To correct the problems and some of the bad habits we develop in our everyday communication, we must first become aware of how we sound when we speak. Do you know how you sound when you talk? Is your delivery fast or slow? Do you eat some of your words? Do you sound like you asked a question when you make a statement?   Well, I have good news and even better news for you. First, the good news: Those problems can be fixed easily with drills and exercises. And the better news? I know a place where you can find many of those drills and exercises.

Speaking out loud is a free website to which you can subscribe to get you started. It is a website developed by Susan Dugdale, which features articles on the basic principles of effective speech delivery. On her website, you will find several tongue twisters and drills to help you with your diction and pronunciation. On Susan’s website, in addition to a list of 36 of the best tongue twisters, you will find games and drills to develop your speaking skills.  The link to her website is  https://www.write-out-loud.com/dictionexercises.html  

Let’s have some fun with a few of her tongue twisters: Put a few on the back of a business card for easy access to practicing: “The tip of the tongue the teeth and the lips.” Now say that a bit faster.  

And how about your B words? “Betty bought a bit of butter, but she found the butter bitter, So Betty bought a bit of better butter to make the bitter butter better. Again, try saying that a bit faster and faster.

And let’s end with a few F words: Four furious friends fought for the phone. Again, again and again.

Five flippant Frenchmen fly from France for fashions. And a little bit faster, please, fantastic!

Lastly, remember your voice is your instrument. Take care of it. To keep it tuned and ready, stay hydrated, avoid shouting and where possible, use amplification. Do a simple warmup exercise before speaking. “Me Moo Mu My” is one of those simple flexing exercises all speakers can do even silently before stepping onto the speaking platform. Your daily exercise routines will help you stay ready, Improve your diction and clarity. And your message will be heard, understood, and repeated when you remember it is always not what you said; it’s what your audience heard!

LOST

“Where was the last place you left it Daddy?”

It was a Monday morning I will never forget to remember. There I was, standing at my front door fully dressed still feeling naked as the day I was born. Suddenly, I realized I was missing something. In a tizzy, I thought I had lost my keys and wallet. And as if that was not bad enough, After turning the house upside down, I lost my mind and asked one of my kids – the smartie who always has a silly question for every answer you ask – “did you see my wallet?” That’s when I got one of his dreaded responses that would make any saint a sinner. “Where was the last place you left it Daddy?”

Friends, I don’t know about you, but questions for an answer always drive me crazy. And although that day, a little voice popped into my head telling me to stop, close my eyes, and think. But, no! I had to add fuel to my own fire with some snide remark. “Well, if I knew the answer to that, would I be asking you smarty? And as that little molehill is about to erupt like a volcano into a domestic dispute with everyone involved, the little voice returns screaming to Stop! Close your eyes and think. Think about that last place – The last place you saw it – The last place you had it. The last place you held it.

Have you ever had one of those days? If truth be told, that day, I opened my eyes and headed straight to that last place – the refrigerator. And as I desperately tried to steal away with the evidence, I heard it from the peanut gallery –My own words coming back to haunt me. “ Daddy – you always find what you are looking for in the last place you look.” And as you always say, everything has its place, and every place has its space.” Yes, my keys and wallet were right next to the milk and OJ – just chilling. As my eyes screamed – Did I do that?

That’s when I knew I had to find my quiet place. As a kid, my quiet place was deep in the woods. Today it’s the Mall. Do you have a quiet place? I could walk the Malls for hours, seeking nothing but finding a little peace and quiet, well, only until closing. That’s when I often realize I am lost. Usually, it’s when I try to remember which door I entered and where I parked my car. Has that ever happened to you? Trust me, that’s no fun. Can you remember standing in front of those huge directories telling you that you are Here! And you are still confused, trying to figure out where’s here. Only to realize once again – You are lost!

However, it was during one of those episodes, the little voice reminded me – You’re not lost, but even if you are, you will be found. Stop, close your eyes, and think – On that Monday morning, that little voice came to me from deep, deep within to remind me never to sweat the small stuff. Often things are not lost; they are only misplaced. Things like keys, wallets, papers, and even friends are replaceable. But, sometimes, we lose our way. We didn’t Google it. And like Columbus, we didn’t know exactly where we were heading. But he kept going and look at how much he found when he was lost.

Over time, I have accepted that all things are replaceable, even friends. And those friends I’ve lost when I was lost will stay lost. I’ll make new friends. You can get directions to get back on track. But what do you do when what you lost cannot be replaced? When what was lost can only be restored – like your good looks – your good name? Have you ever lost hope? How do you restore hope? That is when we must go to that place that is deep, deep within. That’s when we must stop, close our eyes, and listen to that little voice of reason. And it will take you to that place deep, deep within to restore what we once had. Regardless of how bad things get, my friends never lose hope – for when hope is lost – all is lost.

Not long ago, I read a story about a little boy named Cody. In 1986 he was just 6-years old. He was lost in the woods for 18 hours. His story began when he played hide and seek with his little sister at a family picnic. Suddenly he vanished. Everyone feared the worse. What made his story most remarkable was what he found in those 18 hours. Little Cody was confident that somehow, he would be found and never gave up. To the amazement of everyone, he was found alive 20 miles from the picnic from where he had disappeared. He still remembers walking those 20 miles and what he found during that experience – confidence. He still remembers how he listened to that voice deep within when all but hope was lost. He would stop, close his eyes and think about what he found deep, deep within – the confidence to carry on.

My friends, Today, whenever I am leaving home, and I have that naked feeling, I go straight to the refrigerator. What do you do when you feel lost? Where do you go to find yourself – When all but hope is lost, and you begin to feel like it’s you against the world. Stop, close your eyes and think. Think of that last place when you had it. The last place when you felt it. That last time you enjoyed it. Dig deep, deep within, and never give up. Never give up until what you have lost is found.

The Benefits of Competing

What we practice daily becomes permanent. 

Once again, it is contest season, and many Toastmasters are preparing for their competitions. Some are competing for the first time, while for others, it’s one more time. We all say, one more time, until the next time or until you become the WCPS – The world champion of public speaking. Yes, you can smile.

Whether you are competing at the club or international level, you will notice that your speaking skills will dramatically increase when you participate in any of the annual speaking contests. This is because competing has proven to be the fastest way to develop your speaking skills. 

Once you have decided to compete, it is a good idea to commit to the three Ps of public speaking-: Preparation – Practice, before Presentation. The three Ps apply to all competitions, not just the International Speech Contest. Those Ps also relate to the Evaluation and Table Topics contests.

Make it a habit to answer your everyday questions like you would your Table Topics questions. And evaluate your responses. Provide your answer as if you were at a club meeting. Make it a part of your daily communication style. And over time, you will discover what you practice is fast becoming permanent.  

One may ask how you can prepare for those moments you cannot predict? The trick is to avoid expecting or anticipating, or predicting those moments. Instead, practice being in the moment. Use the skills you have developed at your club meetings over the years to help you to stay ready for your big moment on the competitive stage. Don’t just get ready to compete – stay ready by incorporating being spontaneous in your everyday speaking style. 

Everyone relates to stories. Use life stories and experiences that brought you to where you are today. Then, use those stories to practice thinking on your feet as you stand and deliver with confidence. As one of my mentors would often say, we don’t join Toastmasters to be better Toastmasters at Toastmasters. If life is a stage, then we are the speakers, and again, what we practice daily becomes permanent. 

A well-delivered response depends on how well we listen. Be attentive. Listen for keywords. Let your inner voice silently confirm what you heard before beginning your answer. When evaluating a test speaker, focus on what you Saw, Heard, and Felt. Most people will relate to how the speaker made them feel. Express empathy by using phrases to express how you felt when the speaker said whatever they said that resonated with you.

Make good communication an integral part of your lifestyle. Before you begin speaking, always try to put your audience at ease. An initial pause or a smile is an excellent strategy to help you connect with your audience. Let them anticipate what your opening statement might be after your introduction. There is no time penalty for pausing or smiling; however, you should make sure it is not overdone. Also, pleasantries are unnecessary – Get to the point and begin with your primary issue when you start. Time is of the essence when you are competing. Make every minute count.   

To help you stay focused and on topic, practice using models, formulas, or templates when preparing for Evaluation and Table Topic Competitions. Many excellent samples are available for different types of questions. Some you can even turn into acronyms. For evaluations, there are well-documented standard methods.

Here are some examples:

The PREP Formula: POINT REASON EXAMPLE, then repeat your POINT to summarize works well.

The WAG: Where I WAS – Where I AM & where I am GOING, then summarize to close.

ALWAYS SUMMARIZE TO CLOSE

The CER Method: CAUSE – EFFECT – REMEDY is another excellent method. 

The PPF: PAST – PRESENT – FUTURE. Great for some types of Table Topic questions. 

Stay with the rule of threes as you create your formulas, and you will gain experience with all different types of questions.  

Make competing fun, and you will enjoy the benefits. Strive for excellence. To quote World Champion speaker Dana LaMon, to excel is to do better today than you did yesterday. Compare your performance today with yesterday’s results. If you were improved or advanced, you excelled! Good luck competing, and if you did, I am sure you too will be competing for many more years to come. 

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