Love & Marriage

Love & Marriage -D101 2017 Winning Humor Contest Speech

Love and Marriage! – According to that old song, they go together like horse and carriage. However, my Papa says, sometimes you’ll feel like the horse, sometimes the carriage. But you’ll be well on your way to a happy marriage – If you or your partner don’t ever behave – like that part of the horse that faces the carriage. Fellow Horses and Carriages!

Now, I don’t mean to pry but tell me, in your relationship or marriage, who is the horse and who – is the carriage? If your horse or carriage is sitting next to you right now, trust me; this is not the time to ask any questions. Yes! It takes more than five to seven minutes to figure this one out. But what is your secret -secret to a happy marriage? Can you have one without the other? And what do you do when your horse starts bucking and is pulling away from the carriage?  Well, these are some of the questions I hope we can answer as we take another look at love! And the institution of marriage.

Married life used to be so simple. First, you fall in love. Then you get married. And you live happily ever after. Right!  Wrong! In some cultures, first, you get married, then you have the rest of your life to fall in love. But ever since the beginning of time, there has always been this debate over which should come first. Love, then marriage? Or marriage, and then Love – Who knew, do you?

Then tell me, how do you know when you are in love?  Yes, that was a question, but now is not a good time to turn to your partner for answers. That would be stepping in it – what the horse always leaves behind. But how do you know? I believe you are still in love when you can remember some of these magical moments, the first kiss. The first time you looked into your partner’s eyes, didn’t know a word of Italian but saw Amora. And when you can remember those early morning breakfasts in bed with a smile?  You are still in love.

Now I don’t profess to be an expert on this subject of Love and Marriage. Yes!  I am married – again. But back in the day, when I thought of marriage, I saw myself waving that white flag of the Olympic Games. The five rings on that flag always reminded me that there are sometimes five rings in many marriages. First the engagement ring, next the wedding ring, then comes the suffer ring, boring and even the boxing ring. 

However, I take full responsibility for all of my rings, as my X father-in-law forewarned me. I wrote him a five-page letter asking for his daughter’s hand in marriage. His response came back, one word. No! I thought the man liked me. Then he invited me to meet the entire family at this posh restaurant to tell me no! You cannot have just my daughter’s hand in marriage. You will take her hands, feet, and all the spare parts that come with her. Then he said (SON) there is no warranty with my baby. She’s all yours. I should have seen it coming. No, I wasn’t blind. I was in love.

It wasn’t my fault. You see, there is no University you can attend to get a degree in love or marriage. But again, who needs one? When a man gets married, he loses his bachelor’s. And the woman! She earns her master’s with honors. Once you lift her over that threshold, I guarantee you that’s not the last time she’ll be putting her foot down in her house. Statistics show that in the first few years of marriage, the man speaks, and the woman listens. Soon the woman speaks, and the man listens. Then before long, everybody speak and speak, and only the neighbors listen.

My friends, you don’t need a bachelor’s or master’s to enjoy a successful marriage. We must realize that the two people are different in any relationship. You could be the best magician; you will not change each other. So, what’s the secret to a happy marriage? Respect! Respect each other’s differences. And when you are the horse – be a stallion. When you are the carriage, enjoy the ride. You can’t separate love from marriage. That’s an illusion that will always take you back to one conclusion, that love and marriage do go together like horse and carriage. And you will find your secret to a happy marriage once you or your partner don’t ever start behaving like that part of the horse – that faces the carriage.  


Is there a formula for a Winning Humorous Speech ?- Whenever I am asked that question, my answer is always the same 20 Laughs, 5 Chuckles, and One Belly Full of Laughter – delivered in 7 minutes.

Your Voice – Your Instrument

If you want people to listen to you, you must be prepared to listen to yourself.

Your voice is your instrument. You carry it with you every day of your life. However, do you know the sound of your voice? Can listeners clearly understand what you are saying when you speak? Every instrument has a distinctive sound.  We all know what a trumpet, sax, or tuba sounds like.  If you were to hear a snippet from you and seven of your close friends, would you be able to identify which voice was yours? We all have accents and different ways of pronouncing certain words. We recognize and even admire the sound of our favorite speakers and singers. Over time, we become familiar with their pitch, range, and tamber.   

Every instrument has to be tuned, and so too is your voice. To produce a clear sound, you have to work on improving your “Buzz,” which makes your tone. To create that “Buzz,” you must work on breathing. All speakers understand the importance of inhaling air when speaking and the control required in its emission.  We all depart from our natural breathing as infants with age and personal development. Many of us use almost exclusively the upper portion of our lung capacity when speaking. To develop proper resonance, flexibility, and a beautiful tone, we must focus on correcting how we breathe while avoiding the condition we call shallow breathing.  Many articulation exercises are available in books and on the internet to address this problem.

Before you can even begin to improve your speaking voice, you must first find it. You should know how you sound.  Your voice tone in everyday communication is an excellent place to start. Observe the pitch you typically default to if you were to start humming. Observe the natural ease and comfort you feel. Take note of how you felt when you tried humming at a lower or higher pitch. William Shakespeare had this to say about finding your beautiful tone when speaking:

“Two factors are necessary; first, the breath must be under perfect control; and second, the vocal organs must be trained to act with unconscious ease – without correct breath control, and without freedom of the vocal muscles, a beautiful clear tone of voice cannot be attained.”

Once you have found your speaking voice, your next step is improvement and maintenance with exercises to strengthen your facial muscles – your jaw, throat, tongue, and lips. These are all critical muscles of your “Mask Cavity” that speakers must develop with vocal exercises. One I highly recommend is “Mouth exercise for Clear Speech,” available here: Articulation Exercises. Here you will find exercises that cover many letters and sounds of the alphabet.  Some speakers may need more help from a speaking coach to produce a clear tone. However, this is an excellent place to start.

Speakers should also be aware of times when their tone and pitch change while delivering presentations.  It is natural for a speaker’s voice to change if they are nervous, excited, or are being assertive. Understanding those changes in your communication style and using them effectively can turn what may be, to some, a liability into an asset when presenting. Starting with your natural Hum or Buzz and changing registers is an excellent exercise for beginners. This exercise helps speakers move seamlessly between registers.  With soft lips lightly touching, hum a few of your favorite tunes. Recite or read and record a few short sentences. Listen to your recordings.

As any coach will say, if you want people to listen to you, you must be prepared to listen to yourself.

Practicing correctly is critical. As you practice, pay attention to details. When you do, you will achieve the best results. Maintain good posture and proper inhalations.  Practice humming and buzzing with ease as you exercise your vocal muscles. Make sure your lips are soft, barely touching. They should also be loose at the corners. The tongue should lie easily and loosely, with the tip of your tongue lightly touching your lower front teeth. Ensure your throat is free as if you are about to begin yawning. Also, remember that exercises are useless when performed incorrectly. Start slowly and increase your speed as you become more proficient. Exercises performed once correctly are far more valuable than an exercise repeatedly done poorly. Begin your humming and buzzing with simple songs. As you improve, step it up to include classical pieces and choruses as your breath control and resonance improve. Keep practicing, and over time you will find what is unique and natural to us all – Your distinctive, beautiful sound – Your voice – Your instrument.  

Acting & Public Speaking Same Difference?

Tell a story to make a point

What’s the difference between Acting and Public Speaking? Actors perform –  Speakers speak to be heard, understood, and repeated. They are different disciplines, but they have a lot in common. They both strive to achieve the same goals – communicating with their audience. However, some may ask, if 90 percent of all communication is nonverbal, shouldn’t public speakers include some acting when they are presenting?  And who determines if a speaker is acting or public speaking? Unfortunately for many speakers, when they don’t address those questions with their coaches and evaluators, audiences will walk away with the answers to those critical questions, and the speaker will be none the wiser. Actors perform, and public speakers use language to make their connection.

Speakers speak to inform, persuade, entertain and inspire. Storytelling is a critical skill all speakers use to achieve those goals. However, a fine line divides both lanes. Some speakers drift in and out of the acting lane with success. However, they must be reminded that speakers speak and actors perform. Acting is unnecessary when speakers use different figures of speech to tell stories. Dr. Randy Harvey, the 2004 World Champion of Public Speaking, uses the acronym SCREAM as a reminder to include Similes, Contrast, Rhyme, Echo, Alliteration, and Metaphors when storytelling. Speakers should also have a basic understanding of what is acting and what is public speaking.

Storytelling is the act of telling stories. They are narratives with a beginning, middle, and end. Webster defines acting as the act of presenting a character on stage or camera. The definition of Public Speaking is the act or process of making speeches in public. They all have a common purpose – the art of effectively communicating with an audience. And although the word act is present in all three instances, how the actor or speaker chooses to perform those acts makes all the difference.  Adding gestures, vocal variety, and eye contact when delivering a speech is not acting. All speakers must develop those essential skills to enhance their ability to connect with audiences. Your body speaks even louder than what you are saying; however, your words and actions must be in sync. You may very well be in the wrong lane when they are not.

A public speaker’s primary objective is maintaining contact with their audience throughout their delivery. Conversely, actors create an imaginary wall on stage between themselves and their audience as part of their act. In theatre, it is referred to as the fourth wall. Actors create an imaginary invisible wall to separate themselves from the audience. The audience fully views the actors communicating with each other on stage as if they are in private, which is quite the opposite of what public speakers strive to achieve.  I can remember observing Derek Walcott back in the 1970s while working on two of his plays – the Joker of Seville and O’Babylon. He would spend hours directing seasoned actors to break down that fourth wall when he wanted them to make a connection with the audience. Yes, actors do change lanes also.  

All speakers realize that maintaining a connection with audiences depends on their approach to Public Speaking. When speaking one-to-one in conversations, we all talk naturally. Speakers who take that same approach to the speaking platform communicate more effectively with audiences. When a speaker can build trust by speaking naturally from the heart, audiences will listen, regardless of size.  However, speakers must give their audience something to remember. Speakers must silence the questions that creep into the minds of their audience during a presentation. When an audience is watching and listening to a speaker, they are processing what they heard and interpreting what they saw and felt. When they like what they hear, you are connected. When they don’t, you lose them.    

I will never forget one of my dad’s favorite sayings, and he had many: – son, there’s nothing new under the sun. Dear to be different. Always give your audience something old, something new, something borrowed, and wear something blue for good luck and to ward off evil spirits. As always, papa was right, so I made those words of wisdom my secret to connecting with audiences. But finding and developing your unique style that interests audiences is always challenging. I would later discover the key is how the speaker chooses to deliver their message. Good speakers deliver their message as if it were served in fine China, while others will offer that same message as if it were on a garbage cover. Delivery makes all the difference.  

David Brooks, the 1990 World Champion of Public Speaking, has often said in his coaching sessions that the secret to Public Speaking is simple when you break it all down.  You tell a story to make a point, or you make a point, then tell a story. It is that simple. Then you repeat that process over and over. Give your audience something to think, feel, talk about or take some action after hearing your presentation. Leave the acting to the actors. They are performers. Use the SCREAM method when presenting. And when you speak to be heard, understood, and repeated, there would be no question in the minds of your audience about if you were acting or public speaking long after you have departed the platform.  

The World Championship of Public Speaking – It’s a Process

You can’t sell what you don’t own.

Bay to Bay

Every speaker’s dream is to produce someday a speech that withstands the test of time. Having made it to the Regional Levels of the World Championships on three different occasions, I must admit that I have enjoyed the coaching I received over my twenty years of competing more than anything that contest has to offer.

Having been an original Edge Member and worked with various champion speakers who not only achieved their goal of producing great speeches but have also walked away with the title of World Champion, it’s difficult not to recognize that it takes a process to be a champion speaker.  If you were to ask any of those champs, what does it take to produce a world championship speech? They will quickly admit that their process contributed to yielding their winning speech. That heralded speech, in some cases, has even had its roots in a long-forgotten icebreaker revived and put through the rigors of the process. So what is this process?

That process begins with a speaker’s passion, thoughts, ideas, and real-life experiences with universal appeal. Sounds familiar? We all have many from which we can choose.  The heavy lifting to formulate that material to move it from your head to your heart and into every muscle of your body and the bodies of their audience is the challenge. Only with a process you can get the job done. However, there can be no shortcuts in your approach. As one Great Native American Chief warned many moons ago – “Short cut – draws long blood!”  

The process is simple. First, you must commit your speech to paper. What is written has to be carefully culled and edited. Your first draft then has to be polished.  What was polished has to be roughed up a little. Even then, you still have an unfinished product. The speaker must now test that draft in front of live or virtual audiences. And finally, that speech has to be owned by the speaker. Only when the speaker confidently says I own this speech, it is ready to be sold to an audience. And speakers should never forget that you can’t sell what you don’t own.

The first phase is always the hardest. It is natural to be constantly asking yourself how much is too much. One approach is to let your thoughts flow. Write them all down; the keepers and the weepers, but therein lies yet another process. There is a vast difference between writing and typing your first draft. Ed Tate, the 2000 World Champion, in one of his coaching sessions I attended many years ago, spoke about the different feeling when you transcribe your thoughts manually versus typing.

The process of writing your thoughts is a lot more intimate. Also, you can write down those thoughts anytime, anywhere as they come to you. When writing out your initial ideas, there should be no error correcting or editing. Let your joys, sorrows, and pain all flow like a river to the sea. Admittedly, many of us skip this critical step and begin typing. However, only after you have put pen to paper a few times will you appreciate the value of completing that first crucial step.

One of my all-time favorite TV shows still is – “Name that Tune.” I love it simply because it’s a game I play while going through my culling process. I often challenge myself to express my ideas or thoughts in fewer words than I had initially written. What is most important in this phase of the process is to decide what stays in and what stays out. Craig Valentine’s rule of thumb? When in doubt, leave it out.

For best results, do your culling and editing on a computer using Word or any software application. However, it is vital to write it as you usually speak. Using the fewest words to make your point often produces the best results. It also helps if you listen to the sound of what you wrote. Listening to yourself can be painful. Many of us don’t know or like how we sound. Record and listen as you do your editing until you no longer cringe and can smile as you listen to that recording.

Your nicely formatted – culled, and edited first draft is a good starting point. That draft must now be polished and prepared to be taken to market.  This is where you want to shift your focus from yourself and the results you seek – to what you would like your audience to think, feel or do during and after they have experienced your presentation. You are now going through the process of transferring energy from yourself to your audience. Remember, your audience is now your customer, and we know the customer is always right, even when they are not. 

You must figure out how you can reach into their heads, hearts, and every muscle of their body, just like you did and felt when you started your production. Find your nuggets to polish them, so they stand out when it’s time to deliver. As you continue to polish, you must find that gem that will make your presentation most memorable. David Brooks, the 1990 World Champion, calls it your Magic Moment – The moment should make your audience say, “Wow, or even repeat it backward woW!!!” And every speech should have a magic moment.

Before you can sell anything, you must own it. Customers can always tell if your product is one of a kind or one of a million. Your well-polished presentation may always leave a bit of doubt in the minds of your audience, as my mamma used to say when she was still with us, pretty face, dirty tricks. Son, all that glitters is not gold. The owning process is where the rubber meets the road. You should be able to start your speech or presentation from any word in your final script without hesitation. 

Next, you must remove some of your polish to make your presentation appear as natural as possible. Authenticity always makes a better connection with audiences.  As you practice internalizing what you have prepared, permit yourself to be the genuine you. But resist the temptation to stray from your finished product. Remember, sell only what you own. It is always safer to be in the moment with your body language, gestures, or even facial expression than unrehearsed phrases. Time is of the essence.

Evaluations – solicited and or unsolicited- are yet another process on its own. Speakers should take note of all feedback received – the good, bad, and even the ugly. In that feedback, they should observe patterns and repeated comments. Don’t be afraid to explore and test the merits of all feedback received with your coach. Any critical feedback should be tested in front of different live audiences on at least three separate occasions.

Word of caution, if you find yourself having to do a lot of explaining to your audience after presenting, that’s a red flag. You may want to revisit your culling and editing for clarity. It is a good idea to keep all of your rough drafts and the feedback received after your testing. Writing and delivering a speech that will live on forever takes hard work; however, if you follow a process that has been tried, tested, and proven by champions, you too will be recognized someday as a champion in your own rights, regardless of who walks away with the title of World Champion of Public Speaking.

What you Said & What we Heard

The tip of the tongue the teeth and the lips.

What you said and what we heard were quite different. All speakers receive similar feedback at some time, even when they are sure they said what they meant to say. While some may be quick to blame their style of speaking or even their accent. That feedback may be a clarion moment, advising that it’s time to work on your voice, diction, and vocabulary.

Have you received feedback about your diction in an evaluation recently? For some evaluators, addressing a speaker’s diction is like touching the third rail of public speaking. Well, today, let’s touch that third rail carefully.

On or off the platform, speakers must never forget that what matters most is what your audience heard, not what they said or intended to say. Your diction determines your style of enunciation when we are speaking. Diction exercises and drills can help us develop our stresses, rhythm, pronunciation, and intonation. When practiced regularly, they enhance our ability to deliver our presentations with precision and clarity. Messages heard and clearly understood by audiences are repeated. To be quoted by someone who heard you speak days, months or even years ago is rewarding and validating.

When communicating formally or informally, we stress our content words. Conversely, we unstress function words. Simply put, content words contribute to the meaning of the sentences in which they occur. They typically are verbs, nouns, adjectives, adverbs, some pronouns, numbers, questions, and quantities. When content words are stressed, they are more pronounced, they sound louder and sometimes are held longer in duration to command attention. And when speakers add a moment of silence to follow a sentence with content words, their message is sent. The silence that follows sends the message.

Function words are usually unstressed. They often don’t convey much meaning; however, they are essential to the grammatical structure of sentences. They include articles, prepositions, conjunctions, auxiliary verbs, and some pronouns. They are often pronounced quickly with a lower pitch than content words and are sometimes difficult to hear. They are usually softer, quieter, and are held much shorter in duration than content words. As a result, your function words can sometimes get lost in your communication.

Over time we become identified with our distinctive voice, intonation, and manner of speaking. Your vocabulary is essential when you are delivering your message. The words you choose can easily misrepresent the message you intended to convey. A better selection of words and proper diction can help us communicate more effectively with our audiences. Also, we tend to develop rhythmic patterns when we stress and unstress our words and syllables. We develop accents, especially when pronouncing two-syllable nouns. Ever notice that we stress the first syllable in almost every instance of the English language? And at the same time, many two-syllable verbs have second-syllable stresses.

Note that there is often a shift in stress when there is a noun-verb combination. For example – DEsert/ deSERT – ADDress/addRESS – PREsent/preSENT – The stressing and the un-stressing of content words and syllables create rhythm in our manner of speaking. Over time we develop a distinctive mode of pronunciation commonly used in the environment from which we originated. Where and how we place our syllables, stresses, and pitch often determine that which is called our accent. And believe it or not, we all have one; an accent.

To correct the problems and some of the bad habits we develop in our everyday communication, we must first become aware of how we sound when we speak. Do you know how you sound when you talk? Is your delivery fast or slow? Do you eat some of your words? Do you sound like you asked a question when you make a statement?   Well, I have good news and even better news for you. First, the good news: Those problems can be fixed easily with drills and exercises. And the better news? I know a place where you can find many of those drills and exercises.

Speaking out loud is a free website to which you can subscribe to get you started. It is a website developed by Susan Dugdale, which features articles on the basic principles of effective speech delivery. On her website, you will find several tongue twisters and drills to help you with your diction and pronunciation. On Susan’s website, in addition to a list of 36 of the best tongue twisters, you will find games and drills to develop your speaking skills.  The link to her website is  https://www.write-out-loud.com/dictionexercises.html  

Let’s have some fun with a few of her tongue twisters: Put a few on the back of a business card for easy access to practicing: “The tip of the tongue the teeth and the lips.” Now say that a bit faster.  

And how about your B words? “Betty bought a bit of butter, but she found the butter bitter, So Betty bought a bit of better butter to make the bitter butter better. Again, try saying that a bit faster and faster.

And let’s end with a few F words: Four furious friends fought for the phone. Again, again and again.

Five flippant Frenchmen fly from France for fashions. And a little bit faster, please, fantastic!

Lastly, remember your voice is your instrument. Take care of it. To keep it tuned and ready, stay hydrated, avoid shouting and where possible, use amplification. Do a simple warmup exercise before speaking. “Me Moo Mu My” is one of those simple flexing exercises all speakers can do even silently before stepping onto the speaking platform. Your daily exercise routines will help you stay ready, Improve your diction and clarity. And your message will be heard, understood, and repeated when you remember it is always not what you said; it’s what your audience heard!

LOST

“Where was the last place you left it Daddy?”

It was a Monday morning I will never forget to remember. There I was, standing at my front door fully dressed still feeling naked as the day I was born. Suddenly, I realized I was missing something. In a tizzy, I thought I had lost my keys and wallet. And as if that was not bad enough, After turning the house upside down, I lost my mind and asked one of my kids – the smartie who always has a silly question for every answer you ask – “did you see my wallet?” That’s when I got one of his dreaded responses that would make any saint a sinner. “Where was the last place you left it Daddy?”

Friends, I don’t know about you, but questions for an answer always drive me crazy. And although that day, a little voice popped into my head telling me to stop, close my eyes, and think. But, no! I had to add fuel to my own fire with some snide remark. “Well, if I knew the answer to that, would I be asking you smarty? And as that little molehill is about to erupt like a volcano into a domestic dispute with everyone involved, the little voice returns screaming to Stop! Close your eyes and think. Think about that last place – The last place you saw it – The last place you had it. The last place you held it.

Have you ever had one of those days? If truth be told, that day, I opened my eyes and headed straight to that last place – the refrigerator. And as I desperately tried to steal away with the evidence, I heard it from the peanut gallery –My own words coming back to haunt me. “ Daddy – you always find what you are looking for in the last place you look.” And as you always say, everything has its place, and every place has its space.” Yes, my keys and wallet were right next to the milk and OJ – just chilling. As my eyes screamed – Did I do that?

That’s when I knew I had to find my quiet place. As a kid, my quiet place was deep in the woods. Today it’s the Mall. Do you have a quiet place? I could walk the Malls for hours, seeking nothing but finding a little peace and quiet, well, only until closing. That’s when I often realize I am lost. Usually, it’s when I try to remember which door I entered and where I parked my car. Has that ever happened to you? Trust me, that’s no fun. Can you remember standing in front of those huge directories telling you that you are Here! And you are still confused, trying to figure out where’s here. Only to realize once again – You are lost!

However, it was during one of those episodes, the little voice reminded me – You’re not lost, but even if you are, you will be found. Stop, close your eyes, and think – On that Monday morning, that little voice came to me from deep, deep within to remind me never to sweat the small stuff. Often things are not lost; they are only misplaced. Things like keys, wallets, papers, and even friends are replaceable. But, sometimes, we lose our way. We didn’t Google it. And like Columbus, we didn’t know exactly where we were heading. But he kept going and look at how much he found when he was lost.

Over time, I have accepted that all things are replaceable, even friends. And those friends I’ve lost when I was lost will stay lost. I’ll make new friends. You can get directions to get back on track. But what do you do when what you lost cannot be replaced? When what was lost can only be restored – like your good looks – your good name? Have you ever lost hope? How do you restore hope? That is when we must go to that place that is deep, deep within. That’s when we must stop, close our eyes, and listen to that little voice of reason. And it will take you to that place deep, deep within to restore what we once had. Regardless of how bad things get, my friends never lose hope – for when hope is lost – all is lost.

Not long ago, I read a story about a little boy named Cody. In 1986 he was just 6-years old. He was lost in the woods for 18 hours. His story began when he played hide and seek with his little sister at a family picnic. Suddenly he vanished. Everyone feared the worse. What made his story most remarkable was what he found in those 18 hours. Little Cody was confident that somehow, he would be found and never gave up. To the amazement of everyone, he was found alive 20 miles from the picnic from where he had disappeared. He still remembers walking those 20 miles and what he found during that experience – confidence. He still remembers how he listened to that voice deep within when all but hope was lost. He would stop, close his eyes and think about what he found deep, deep within – the confidence to carry on.

My friends, Today, whenever I am leaving home, and I have that naked feeling, I go straight to the refrigerator. What do you do when you feel lost? Where do you go to find yourself – When all but hope is lost, and you begin to feel like it’s you against the world. Stop, close your eyes and think. Think of that last place when you had it. The last place when you felt it. That last time you enjoyed it. Dig deep, deep within, and never give up. Never give up until what you have lost is found.

The Benefits of Competing

What we practice daily becomes permanent. 

Once again, it is contest season, and many Toastmasters are preparing for their competitions. Some are competing for the first time, while for others, it’s one more time. We all say, one more time, until the next time or until you become the WCPS – The world champion of public speaking. Yes, you can smile.

Whether you are competing at the club or international level, you will notice that your speaking skills will dramatically increase when you participate in any of the annual speaking contests. This is because competing has proven to be the fastest way to develop your speaking skills. 

Once you have decided to compete, it is a good idea to commit to the three Ps of public speaking-: Preparation – Practice, before Presentation. The three Ps apply to all competitions, not just the International Speech Contest. Those Ps also relate to the Evaluation and Table Topics contests.

Make it a habit to answer your everyday questions like you would your Table Topics questions. And evaluate your responses. Provide your answer as if you were at a club meeting. Make it a part of your daily communication style. And over time, you will discover what you practice is fast becoming permanent.  

One may ask how you can prepare for those moments you cannot predict? The trick is to avoid expecting or anticipating, or predicting those moments. Instead, practice being in the moment. Use the skills you have developed at your club meetings over the years to help you to stay ready for your big moment on the competitive stage. Don’t just get ready to compete – stay ready by incorporating being spontaneous in your everyday speaking style. 

Everyone relates to stories. Use life stories and experiences that brought you to where you are today. Then, use those stories to practice thinking on your feet as you stand and deliver with confidence. As one of my mentors would often say, we don’t join Toastmasters to be better Toastmasters at Toastmasters. If life is a stage, then we are the speakers, and again, what we practice daily becomes permanent. 

A well-delivered response depends on how well we listen. Be attentive. Listen for keywords. Let your inner voice silently confirm what you heard before beginning your answer. When evaluating a test speaker, focus on what you Saw, Heard, and Felt. Most people will relate to how the speaker made them feel. Express empathy by using phrases to express how you felt when the speaker said whatever they said that resonated with you.

Make good communication an integral part of your lifestyle. Before you begin speaking, always try to put your audience at ease. An initial pause or a smile is an excellent strategy to help you connect with your audience. Let them anticipate what your opening statement might be after your introduction. There is no time penalty for pausing or smiling; however, you should make sure it is not overdone. Also, pleasantries are unnecessary – Get to the point and begin with your primary issue when you start. Time is of the essence when you are competing. Make every minute count.   

To help you stay focused and on topic, practice using models, formulas, or templates when preparing for Evaluation and Table Topic Competitions. Many excellent samples are available for different types of questions. Some you can even turn into acronyms. For evaluations, there are well-documented standard methods.

Here are some examples:

The PREP Formula: POINT REASON EXAMPLE, then repeat your POINT to summarize works well.

The WAG: Where I WAS – Where I AM & where I am GOING, then summarize to close.

ALWAYS SUMMARIZE TO CLOSE

The CER Method: CAUSE – EFFECT – REMEDY is another excellent method. 

The PPF: PAST – PRESENT – FUTURE. Great for some types of Table Topic questions. 

Stay with the rule of threes as you create your formulas, and you will gain experience with all different types of questions.  

Make competing fun, and you will enjoy the benefits. Strive for excellence. To quote World Champion speaker Dana LaMon, to excel is to do better today than you did yesterday. Compare your performance today with yesterday’s results. If you were improved or advanced, you excelled! Good luck competing, and if you did, I am sure you too will be competing for many more years to come. 

Are You Competing

Follow the herd, and no one will hear you

February signals the beginning of the Toastmasters competition season at the Area, Division, or District levels. Are you competing – If not, why not? Competing is the fastest way to improve as a speaker. These contests vary. They can be International, Humorous, or Evaluation. Whether you plan to speak or evaluate, preparation is crucial. However, before you step onto the platform for the first time or once again, here are a few things you may want to consider.    

Every Speech – Humorous, International, or Evaluation has four areas that require your utmost attention, the point, purpose, message, and the foundational statement, or FS.   The point and purpose of the speech will often relate to the FS. The FS may be inferred when the speaker does not state it clearly. The title of the speech can also help you identify the speaker’s point and purpose. There is always a message that resonates throughout the delivery in that point and purpose.

Whether you are a Speaker or Evaluator, when you are on the competitive platform, your approach to an evaluation differs from speaking or evaluating at a club meeting. At a club meeting, you deliver a speech based on stated objectives. The evaluator states the objectives, follows them, and evaluates based on what they saw, heard, and felt. The aim is primarily to help the speaker improve.

Although your evaluation is still based on what you saw, heard, and felt on the competitive platform, there are no stated objectives. However, you should immediately identify the speaker’s type of speech. Ask yourself if this was a speech to inform, entertain, motivate, or inspire. How you feel is vital as it greatly influences what you saw and heard, as it will often positively or negatively affect your feelings.

It is also crucial for the speaker or evaluator to understand the difference between point and purpose. The purpose focuses on WHY the speaker is delivering that speech. The top three purposes are to persuade your audience to take action, inform or explain or teach a concept, or entertain the audience. The acronym PIE is a simple way to remember -purpose.

To identify the point of the speech, shift your focus from the WHY to the WHO or WHICH. Who or which character is delivering the story’s details? Although the speech is the speaker’s point of view, it is essential to recognize and identify the different characters telling or sharing the story’s details. The point will often lead to some action.

As the speaker or evaluator, you are up against the clock to make your point, state your purpose, and deliver your message. To do so effectively, you must know where you are as you deliver your speech or evaluation. Divvy up your time. You must know where you are at the five, six- and seven-minute mark when you are the speaker. The same goes for when you are an evaluator. Know the two,  two, and a half-and three-minute marks in your evaluation. Always know where you are and where you are heading.

The message carries a heavy burden, as it’s your final opportunity to get your audience to take some action. The 1990 World Champion of Public Speaking, David Brooks, has often said you should leave your audience feeling compelled to take some action during the minute of silence after you have spoken.

Although the speaker’s message should resonate throughout the speech, driving home your message is most important. When you are the evaluator, make sure you highlight the message you got from the presentation and how the message made you feel. Too often, evaluators focus almost entirely on what they saw, heard, and ignore how the speaker made them feel.

Finally, dare to be different whether you were a speaker or evaluator. Follow the herd, and no one will hear you. So, on a scale of one to ten, ask yourself, what is my eleven. What will make my speech or evaluation stand out from the others? While there is nothing new under the sun, if you could find that nugget, making that gem your magic moment can make all the difference.

And, if you felt like you owned the platform and enjoyed the moment, you should walk away feeling you made your point, fulfilled your purpose, and delivered your message. And regardless of where you placed, you will always walk away a winner because – you competed.   

What is your Laugh Count

How do you get to your 20 Laughs 5 Chuckles, and 1 Belly Full ?

Mark Twain

Whenever someone asks me if there is a formula for giving a winning humorous speech, my answer is always sure, why not! In a five-to-seven-minute contest speech, mine is twenty laughs – five chuckles and one belly full of laughter. What’s yours? The question that follows is often, and how do you get to your 20, 5, and 1. My response, you keep track of your Laugh Count.

Humor is an unstated requirement in every type of speech. Your laughter should begin within your first 20 seconds in humorous speeches and continue throughout your presentation. When your audience is laughing, you are connecting; your audience is listening and learning. Don’t try to be a comedian. Comedians tell jokes. Speakers connect with stories about people, places, and things. We explore topics some may find silly but funny to others. Have you ever thought about why it’s ok to watch your watch but not clock your clock? There you go!  I often wonder why that statement generates laughter. Look around, and you will find enough fodder that is silly, funny, and humorous to share with your audiences. All you need is a good setup and a relevant punch line.  

Always remember your purpose for being on the platform is to deliver a humorous speech. All speeches should have an opening, body, and conclusion. Your speech should also have a purpose. The purpose of giving a humorous speech is to make your audience relax, think a little, and laugh. If your subject matter is funny, it is easier to achieve your goal-laughter. Now we all know someone who can read from the Holy Bible and make it funny. It is all because of their timing, pauses, and, most importantly, their delivery. Humorous speakers develop those skills over time; however, the topic you choose can set you on a path to delivering a funny speech.  

Your topic selection should be appropriate for your audience, the event, and your venue. Selecting the right topic for your audience takes research. For example, you may want to know the event’s history and some of the previous successful performers? What were their topics? What’s trending that may interest your audience?  These are all questions you should consider if you hope to do well in a humorous speech contest. Do your homework. Audiences will differ. All reactions are not always the same. However, keep in mind humor comes from the unexpected. If your bit of humor did not increase your laugh count, don’t panic; turn it around; you could even make it self-deprecating. Now the jokes on you or the one person in the audience who got it.

Next, as you would do for any speech you are preparing, ask yourself, what is my message? Again, keep it light but ask yourself what you want your audience to take away from this experience? As a speaker, you are speaking to be heard, understood, remembered, and repeated. When someone can remember details of a presentation you delivered five years ago, rest assured you were heard, understood, remembered, and repeated. And that is the best trophy of them all.

To increase your laugh count, observe and analyze what makes your audience laugh. Think back and explore all the circumstances that lead up to the laughter. Then, try to determine what caused the laughter and how to repeat it over and over. The words you choose should be easy to pronounce to convey your desired meaning. They should not create any confusion or misunderstanding. Laughter is an emotion built up to a specific tension. Then suddenly, it is released to create a surprise. Lead your audience in one direction. And when they expect, you continue in the same direction; you turn to the other. Keep it simple. Less always creates more laughter.  

One sure way to increase your laugh count, giggles, and chuckles is with what I call tagging. According to s, a tag can be a brief quotation used for rhetorical emphasis or sententious effect. Look for opportunities to add a funny word, short sentence, or body language to provoke continued laughter, giggles, or chuckles. One of the masters of tagging was Mark Twain. He was first a humorist on the lecture platforms before he became known for writing humor. When he wrote, he imagined he was talking to an audience so that everything had his personal touch. In conversations with friends and family, we tag all the time subconsciously. As you prepare your speech, imagine yourself speaking to your audience. Add your personal touch to make every laugh, every chuckle, and your belly full of laughter count.  Start developing your formula to increase your laugh count.  And you might very well be the next humorous speech champion with a bit of help from my formula and yours.  

Tensions And Release

Every speech should have a magic moment

The application of Tensions and Release is critical in public speaking and music.  In speaking, the process begins with a buildup of stress or pressure. The audience senses the buildup and processes the information to translate it into emotions. Finally, the audience anticipates a point of Release. The pressure continues to build until the speaker releases the Tensions, giving the audience a moment to rest. In that period of rest, both speaker and audience reward themselves emotionally. 

The drama created and expectations of a resolution hold the audience’s attention. The anticipation of what’s coming next keeps the storyline moving forward. The amount and quality of Tensions created are significant. It should be appropriate for the moment and that audience. Tensions can be chaos, confusion, unrest, instability, anticipation, or even curiosity. What’s most important is the effect it awakens in the minds and hearts of the audience.

 The feeling the audience experiences after the resolution is critical.  Timing also plays a vital role in the process. Many speakers use some of the same techniques used in music to create a Release. We all know them as loud, soft, rhythm, tone, and silence.  In public speaking, we call them different names. Still, they produce the same feelings and results we experience when listening to music.

Be mindful that everyone will not have the same physical experience; however, there are six basic emotions to which all humans respond. The 1991 World Champion of Public Speaking, David Brooks, often spoke about those six emotions – happiness, sadness, anger, fear, surprise, and disgust. Speakers should match their body language with their feelings during delivery. The quality and amount of stress depend upon what the moment demands. While it is crucial to produce adequate pressure, speakers must also know the right time to release.

If the resolution is too early or too late, that will ruin the experience. Instead, release at precisely the right time, and you will produce a magical moment.  Magical moments are segments of a speech remembered long after a speaker has made their delivery. The buildup leading to your Release can create a magic moment. The Release can be gradual or abrupt. It requires expectations from both the speaker and the audience. Both must move in concert as they advance towards a climax. As a rule, every speech should have a magic moment.

Tensions are critical moments for both speaker and audience. The audience is an active but silent contributor as the drama unfolds. However, some audiences don’t like to take a wild roller coaster ride. Therefore, the number of times you insert Tensions and Releases in a speech matter. How many times can you handle the big dipper? Speakers must never forget the purpose of Tensions and Releases. They keep the storyline moving forward. Keep an eye on the facial expressions of your audience. Strategically apply your Tensions to match the emotions in the room. Remember, the speaker creates the entire process, then calls upon the audience to be curious or excited or anticipate what might come next.

The effective use of Tensions and Release in speaking can be a game-changer. It is a process that produces immediate results. When you notice audiences are eager to take some action during the moment of silence after your presentation, you will understand the power of the process. It is a power that does not last a minute; it is a minute that will last a lifetime. Make a conscious effort to master the application of Tensions and Releases in your presentations. Practice using all six emotions in your everyday conversations. And you will come to realize the power of adding Tensions and Releases to your style of communication.

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